Relationships & Marriage

8 Ways She Can Tell If You Mean It When You Say That You are Ready for Marriage

photo credit: Tyrone Z. McCants / Zire Photography

We recently received this message via Facebook:

Quick Question: I want to know if you have any articles that deal with how to tell when a man is really ready for marriage? I’ve experienced situations where a man “says” that he is ready, but when it comes down to it, he retreats. I’m confused by this. I think they’re saying they’re ready for marriage because that’s what they think I want to hear.

When it comes to marriage he talks about it, but is he ready to be about it?

That’s the question that you’ve been asking yourself for the umpteen years, months and days that you’ve been dating. He says all of the right things, but you’re afraid that it may just be talk. Do you want to know how to find out if his words are real? Well your favorite husband and wife duo here on Husband Wife Life are here to save the day. We’ve pulled together a list of 8 Ways to Tell If Your Man Means It When He Says That He’s Ready for Marriage.

This list will give you the ability to see through the fluff, and to determine if he’s really a man of his word. Is he hiding you? Are you having the must-have conversations yet? If you still can’t figure it out at the end of this list, then at least you’ll have a good starting point to move forward from. Are we claiming that your man isn’t serious if he doesn’t do everything on this list? No, but we are saying dude may have some explaining to do LOL. Scroll through our super fast gallery and let us know what you think in the comment section.

1. DID HE PUT A RING ON IT? – We did a film screening in 2010 where a man stood up and asked how he could show his girlfriend that he was serious about getting married. Beyonce said it best, “Put a Ring On It!” Talking about wanting to get married is one thing. Showing that you want to get married is something else and leads to our 2nd slide.

2. DO HIS ACTIONS MATCH HIS WORDS? – Even after he puts a ring on it, ask yourself: “do his actions match his words?” Is he acting like a man that’s planning for marriage or was the ring just a tactic to keep you quiet for a little while? longer

3. HAVE YOU MET HIS FAMILY? – If he’s close to his family and you’ve never met them, an alarm should be sounding off somewhere in your mind.

4. DOES HE TELL HIS FRIENDS ABOUT YOU? – Do his friends have any idea who you are? A man that’s in love with you isn’t ashamed to let his inner circle know that you’re the one.

5. ARE YOU PLANNING FOR A FUTURE? – If you’re really going to have a future, you should be planning for it. That white picket fence doesn’t just pop up one day.

6. DO YOU COME BEFORE HIS FRIENDS AND FUN? – Is he making space for you in his life and are you a priority? While you each shouldn’t cut your friends off, your relationship should be a priority in your lives.

7. HAVE YOU HAD THE MUST-HAVE CONVERSATIONS? – If you’re planning for a future, then you should be having the tough conversations that must be had before marriage. These conversations include finances, children, roles, and religion to name a few.

8. HE FEELS COMFORTABLE AROUND YOU? – Can he put his guard down around you? As men we try to be tough, cool and a bunch of other stuff in front of the women that we like, but when like turns to love we can finally let our guards down.

Writer: Lamar Tyler of Black&MarriedwithKids.com

Article Source: Blogs.Babble.com http://blogs.babble.com/babble-voices/husband-wife-life-lamar-ronnie-tyler/2012/10/15/8-ways-to-tell-if-your-man-means-it-when-he-says-that-hes-ready-for-marriage/

About Proud Poppas United

A former Youth Division Aide and Mental Health Therapist with the Office of Children and Family Services turned his reduction-in-force experience into a win-win situation, and many are reaping this harvest. When Tyrone “Zire” McCants, who is also a versatile services photographer and visionary in the Phoenix, AZ, lost his job; he took his youthful interest in photography and his prior knowledge from working in a family-centered position into new ventures. He even figured out a way to coincide his two passions into meaningful opportunities to advance his cause. The layoff he faced freed him up to develop his photography business (Zire Photography & Graphics) and to showcase his skills as a prolific artist. One of those ventures that McCants created was an initiative called Proud Poppas United; which is a community-based group designed to strengthen the bonds between fathers & their children. It aims to encourage a tradition of fatherhood and family, increasing the number of active fathers in our community. When McCants isn’t intellectually cultivating his repertoire of talents, he manages to merge his interest in photography with his desire and passion for fatherhood. Using the Proud Poppas Photo Project, as his flagship initiative, he displays images which celebrate and encourage the pride of being an active father. In many minority and ethnic communities, there is a progressive concern of absentee fathers and the devastating effects of this challenge on our children, our families, and community. He also believes that by displaying these images will help to shed light on and celebrate the gift of fatherhood. He hopes that this movement will also become contagious and bring other men closer to their children and families, and encourage a presence of well-being and development in our children, our families, our communities and our people as a whole. McCants quotes that “My scope is capturing the energy between a father and his children” and that’s what he is creating through his community development initiatives. Through, a first look into the reality concerning “Responsible Fathers” many disturbing statistics and contributing factors related to absent fathers. But, to the credit of McCants, he has been able to overlook the negative stereotypes and prejudices that have perpetuated his community and rise to the occasion. Although, he wears many hats that provide guidance and leadership to the infrastructure of his life’s purpose. To all of the fathers out there with the silent victories of triumph and the principle-centered leadership; who fight depression, financial woes, relationship conflicts, the penal system and the racism of our day; McCants say’s “Thank you” for all that you have been able to get accomplished behind your veil of anonymity. You have just endured the last 13 years of this millennium, and you are still here to tell about it. Although some will say that these last few years have been amazing they are still asleep to the fact that; we (The black community) must work with higher ideals versus dollars and cents. We must look within ourselves and see us as being brave, black, accountable, and reliable. The truth of the matter is that you are embracing fatherhood but at a frequency that may not be understood. I am with you as we will not look at the diluted statistics but at the “transformational leadership” that is displayed by all black fathers and role models everywhere. Don’t give up now as our families are leaning on you in these times of difficulty to represent us to the best of your ability as the “Mighty Men of Valor.” You are the man for the job, and now it’s time to come out of hiding and show the world what real black men look like; and we represent as a tribe of Intellectual builders, teachers, warriors, leaders and Kings. “Fatherhood is not a right; it’s a privilege. Your children are the best part of you. I send my love to this new generation of fathers who have learned from the sins of the past and take a very active role in the lives of our children. ~RAPPER TALIB KWELI, FATHER OF TWO

Discussion

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